<!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d9808610\x26blogName\x3dCurrylingus\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dSILVER\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://currylingus.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://currylingus.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d7255938197309832552', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

One drunken picture is worth one thousand drunken words

August 31, 2005


Yums Seera Stephenson More ties! TO is an ADULT town

It's Wedesday already! Ah well, good things appear better when they take a really long time to arrive. Like my new Flickr set, Saturday at Stephenson's. A fantastic ball was had by Seera, Stephenson and myself, last Saturday. We drank a lot of wine. My head got spinny and there were all these ties, the ties were crazy! I love S + S. S + N + S = So Not Sober or Some Need Sin or Sauce Needed Soon.

posted by Neha
1:05 PM

1 comments

Because white folks have been hard-wired by GOD to be "finders"

Some unsettling commentary in Yahoo's photo coverage of Katrina on Flickr. I must confess, The language is rather disturbing from both press agencies, AP and AFP. It appears that they write the captions themselves before sending them to Yahoo. The AP entry, by itself, seems plausible. The photographer may have witnessed said "looting" prior to capturing the escape, or the garbage bag is full of the poor guy's clothes, who knows? But, when coupled with the second AP entry, an uncomfortable feeling arises in me. In fairness, both pictures and captions are the work of two different people. The AFP entry, that one is just plain incorrect, people do not "find" bread at a grocery store while hungry in the midst of a massive natural disaster. Is that how you say "loot" in white? I jest. You decide.

Note: If my home turned into a floating cesspool overnight then I too would be grabbing on to anything in sight, there are no 'shoppers' in turbulent times.

posted by Neha
12:14 PM

0 comments

Don't Mess

August 29, 2005


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Laughing. Too. Hard. Like a Fair & Lovely commercial showing its true colours. With guns.

posted by Neha
10:24 PM

2 comments

Ca-thay, Ruhu-fuss, Chu-huck, Claw-zet!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I thought of going out on a high note, severely doubting the chance of this type of traffic coming my way again...then I watched the MTV VMAs. Had my heart not skipped a beat, had my brain not blown a fuse, I would not be here writing this today. That's a huge lie but let me just wax dramatic for a moment. Hell, let me let R. Kelly wax dramatic for a moment...

He looks at the closet
I pull out my Beretta
He walks up to the closet
He comes up to the closet
Now he's at the closet
Now he's opening the closet...


Oh, that's hot, guy, can I come up to your room? Do you have a digi-cam? Am I too old? Here let me recite some more, then you'll see how much I admire your mad skillz:

*ahem hemhem*

She said you know my girl roxanne
I said who the hell is roxanne
Then she says roxanne's a friend of mine
Who knows this guy name Chuck
Chuck's cool with this guy named Rufus
And I'm sitting there like what the fuck
Then she says Rufus wife Cathy
We both went to high school


PREACH, DADDY. Really, you must pay your dues to this work of (f)art, read the entire collection, Part 1-5. The critics are crying foul but R.rrrrrr, you are loved still fo' sho':

This song and video combination was perhaps a sign the apocalypse is coming. R. Kelly has obviously sold his soul and did not get very much for it this video was the only return on his investment. I can't imagine where to begin crucifying this load of crap. The lyrics are cheesy and over dramatic, not to mention most babble pointlessly. The video is horribly acted and if R.Kelly considers this art, he should have his arms and legs ripped off and be left in a hill of starving fire ants. - comment 42 by Jake

All day today I've been on the hunt for some stills from last night's show. Just one sweet picture of Kelly's wankass, lip-synched, "one man show", dramady Bull Shit. A while ago I saw this complete gem posted on a blog that deserves a standing ovation, fourfour:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Bra-fucking-vo, fourfour, call that shit by its god-given name, "Douchebag of the Night". Did I mention that Kelly performed without any props, on a dark stage, by himself, and with no talent whatsoever? I should've gotten paid platinum for watching. YOU HEAR ME, MTV, YOU BASTION OF SHAMELESS GARBAGE? On the plus side, M.C.Hammer was paid 10 bucks to jump around for 2 seconds to an 'updated' version of U Can't Touch This. While Diddy screamed, "Dance, monkey, DANCE!".

For those who really want to howl in tears, czech the next post and have a listen to "Bob & Whit - Born to be Wild". It's like smoking crack without the pipe...or the actual crack. Amazing. Yeah, for us geezers without Bravo, fourfour is a daily necessity, after all don't you want to know what it's like to be Bobby Brown? Note: If you're thinking "no" then quit lying to yourself.

posted by Neha
12:22 PM

3 comments

Welcome

August 26, 2005


For all those who have meandered this way through Sepia Mutiny...

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Oh dear, I couldn't find anything more fitting than a picture of my robo-arm doing the Namaste. I promise to do better next time, in the meanwhile, enjoy and do feel free to bitch me out in any way possible. So what if I'm a half-bot, people make fun of it all the time, "Haha, there goes that Sepia Mutanteer!", but that's fine, really. No...wait...where are you going? No, don't be afraid...a little sophisticated machinery never hurt anyone, right?

Thank you, SM, you have rocked my world...

posted by Neha
11:37 AM

4 comments

Quarter Century, NOT OUT

August 25, 2005


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I have been far too morose to write an entire birthday post about how happy I am to be alive and gorgeous...more gorgeous than alive...and that ain't saying much. Le Sigh.

Regardless of surrounding circumstance, my special day was kickass. I like to do big birthdays where I drag my friends to places we haven't done together before. Do things that will be remembered for some time to come. Last year we ate too much and rented a karaoke place with sexy leather couches and a couple of disco balls in Little Korea. This was immensely fun. I spent two days organizing and calling people.

I wanted to do the exact same this year but no one ever wants to fucking go karaoke. Figured the birthday excuse would work. It didn't. So I said screw it, I'll pick a place for dinner and we'll rage blindly into the night from there. I had my heart set on going to Dhaba on King West, which I have not been to as yet. Friday comes around, I'm looking to make reservations and I get stuck at work because of a TORNADO WARNING. My phone stops working, I can't call anyone to confirm anything. The restaurant's phone goes completely out of service. It takes me two hours to get home. I can't call any of my brothers to wish them on Raksha Bandhan, the lights are out.

...what conspired later that night is between myself, Rajbo, and the neighbours...

The next day I wake up extremely late, miss calls because my phone is still blowing chunks. Dhaba is not happening. I'm starting to think I should just call everything off. Then Darth tells me to buck the fuck up and drink a shot of Te-Kill-Ya and all is suddenly well with the world. I call everyone, tell them of a new plan that begins with going to Prince's pad and ends at who-knows-what. I take the metro down and drink sake out of my water-bottle on the way.

I call Costa to confirm and he answers with a "Oh, thanks for CALLING", he does this on the same day that my mother gave birth to me 25 years ago. But I quickly forgive him for keeping his time with me short. The reason involves an illicit affair, a crazy girl, a broken-hearted roommate, a born-again homeless dude, and numerous lives in limbo. How could I not forgive...

The night then went on to nothing but trouble, I tells ya. Prince was in his formal attire and spinning many a comfortable favourite of mine on his ratty-ass speakers. Seera, I'm so holy glad you came! With Steve, who has really grown into a fine young man. Hunner the rock star also showed up, Prince promised him some beer, I don't really know him much. The last time I saw him I was openly letching after his Woah-Man! Highly embarrassing.

Someone suggested someplace. Then we ended up going to ZANZIBAR. I'll give you two zerberts if you can tell what type of establishment that is without clicking the link. The booze was expensive, the chicks were not as acrobatic as I would have preferred, the tunes were awful. But I had a wicked time. The outing has inspired some of us to look towards classier shores, For Your Eyes Only here we come!

Sunday was the one of the worst piece-of-shit days I have had this year. I will never forget it and I don't want to talk about it. I just want to remember it as I lived it and revel in the violence of wanting to beat the pupetrator(s) with a stupid-stick over and over.

Monday wasn't looking much better until I discovered that the Beluga tank at the Vancouver aquarium HAS A WEBCAM. And it's a damn good one too, I've been viewing my large pets constantly since Monday, I have grown quite fond of them. Sometimes one will come up to the cam and give it a nuzzle, I think I'm in love.

posted by Neha
8:36 PM

8 comments

For he flattereth himself in his own eyes, until his iniquity be found to be hateful

August 23, 2005


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I have begun to believe that it is best The Rapture stop taking its own sweet time:
COLORADO SPRINGS, COLORADO - A new study released this week confirms what many Americans have long suspected: that they are more likely than people from other countries to go to Heaven. The study found that nearly 75% of the people currently in Heaven were originally American citizens. By contrast, the same researchers found that Hell, largely avoided by Americans, is populated mostly by Europeans including large numbers of French, Dutch, and Danish.
The sampled demonographics were collected in an unbiased manner befitting only the most objective of surveys:
Researchers discarded registration materials that were filled out in languages other than English, that language that the Bible was written in. They also eliminated Heaven entrance forms that were completed in English but indicated a non-US originating address
No Shit, Sherlock:
"It had been our strong sense all along that Americans would turn out to be over-represented when we went in and looked at the demographic data," notes Dr, Steve Myer, director of research at the Bible Institute. "And that's exactly what we found when we ran the numbers."
Conclusions:
The researchers concluded that Republicans were twice as likely as Democrats to get into Heaven, and that residents of rural areas and the so-called "flyover country" were more likely than urban dwellers to inherit the earth. New entrants were not asked on their registration materials to identify themselves as "meek."
But what about the rest of us?:
Afterlife analysts say that Americans are more likely than citizens of other countries to find themselves bound for eternal happiness because they are Christian... most Americans support positions that Jesus Christ would likely endorse were He alive today including welfare reform, the death penalty and a ban on stem cell research, and the over-representation of US-born citizens in the New Jerusalem is no mystery.
I thought J.C. was more into peace and goodwill but what do I know? I worship cows and can have sex in at least 34 different postures, from the lotus-blossom-awesome to let-your-backbone-slide.

Applications:

Hear ye, Americans, read this study to your young children so that they too may turn out to be raving lunatics. A bonus prize (First Class seating on the Heaven Express) for teaching them how to spot and kill infidels. Oh, I've got the wrong religion here...I can't even tell anymore. Just put me out of my misery and send me to hell, Europe has better food anyway.

[Thanks to J-Walk Blog]

posted by Neha
3:05 PM

6 comments

I'm too sexy for this quiz, too sexy for this quiz, so sexy it hurts

Freudian Inventory Results
Oral (56%) you appear to have a good balance of independence and interdependence knowing when to accept help and when to do things on your own.
Anal (46%) you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity, order and chaos, variety and selectivity.
Phallic (60%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure.
Latency (33%) you appear to be overly practical; don't undervalue abstract learning, abstract learning increases your ability to make good decisions (and predictions) in the real world so it would be 'impractical' to shun it.
Genital (76%) you appear to have a progressive and openminded outlook on life unbeholden to regressive forces like traditional authority and convention.
Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com


Freud lost his plot by reducing all therapy to his own observations on infantile sexuality. There are conflicts within each of us that cannot be resolved, regardless of their origin. Keep it simple stupid. My obsession with boobs and afro-porn has nothing to do with any Elektra/anus/mother/father/penis-envy and everything to do with the fact I have neither an afro, nor boobs. And no, Dr. Freud, I have not been castrated, ha.

posted by Neha
11:41 AM

0 comments

I'm busy, let's quizzy

August 22, 2005


77% Scientific Intuition - 62% Emotional Intuition

The graph represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored above average on emotional intuition and well above average on scientific intuition scientific intuition is stronger than your emotional intuition.



Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake.

Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences.

The 2-Variable Intuition Test, via The Presurfer. Any questionnaire requiring a choice between "these people are sleeping together" and "this girl has never slept with anyone" is a good time in my books.

posted by Neha
3:16 PM

4 comments

Amazon Lurve

August 19, 2005


Another reason I need to add one of them nifty Amazon wishlists like everyone else.

posted by Neha
2:32 PM

5 comments

Make Way For The Ph. D.

August 17, 2005


a m r i t says:
how big do you want to print the wisdom design !?
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
hell as big as i can!
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
how big can it get?
a m r i t says:
well... do you have access to an a3 printer !?
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
i'll get it done at a printshop
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
kinkos or something
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
they print's photos and posters
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
daym my grammar is disintegrating
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
I'M EXCITED BEC I JUST GOT A PHD 2 SECS AGO
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
A PH. D!!!!
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
That's a Penthouse Downtown!!!
a m r i t says:
you got a PENTHOUSE .. in downtown !??
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
YAAAAAA
a m r i t says:
that must cost a BOMB !!
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
NOOOOO!
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
that's why the person who lived there before was there 11 yrs!
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
she just gave notice yesterday and we happened to call
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
and put our money down before everyone else
a m r i t says:
fack !! you have an extra room !?
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
i have extra room!!!!
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
now everyone can come visit
ﺀﺎﻫﯿﻧ says:
and i won't be ashamed of living in the burbs anymore!

For reals, I am now the proud lessee of a spanking den of debauchery downtown, Osgoode station, Queen & University, connected to the entire underground network, on the better side of Yonge, away from the yuppie side of Bloor, in the midst of all things fabulous, two seconds from 'Taste of India', ten minutes from China Town, fifteen minutes from the C.N. Tower, take a right at the Friendly Stranger AND PRESS PH.

But the most important 'amenity' that comes with my new place is FRIENDS. No more playing Cinderella because of the subway. No more backing out of doing fun things because the ride home is like plucking out eyelashes one by one. Friends, you hear me, friends? Yes YOU. Seera, my lost love, I've spent weeks looking for shelter and going on vacation and not having brunch but it has borne fruit. Prince, your nagging has paid off, you will be tired of my ass by this time next year, promise. Constantine, what can I say, you don't even read this blog. Yeah, I guess that's all of you then, ha.

posted by Neha
4:47 PM

11 comments

You're gonna WANT that cowbell!!!!! (Updated...sadly)

August 15, 2005


There is only one prescription for my fever and that's more Christopher Walken. So I'm ecstatic that he is running for U.S. presidency in 2008, that is if his campaign website is to be believed.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I hope I hope I hope I hope it is so. For the record, Walken could take Arnie any day, even muscles can't mess with this shizz:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

My money's on him so he can be on some money:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I leave you to ponder with a personal favorite as far as Christopher Walken monologues go, from SNL 03, The Continental:
"Welcome to my abode.. come in.. please. Please, sit.. Sit, please. Normally, I would offer you.. vintage Champagna.. and caviar. But.. I have grown impatient with the French. Ever since the Froggy stabbed Colin Powell in the back.. I eschew all things French.. no more! Camembert.. fois gras.. eau de cologne.. Frenchie, from "American Idol".. and, big surprise to me.. champagna! Who knew! That's the only place champagna come from! But.. my word is my bond.. it is done. Instead.. I offer you. effervescent.. Andre's Cold Duck. Bugles.. with cream cheese. We got.. ants-on-a-log - HELLO! Combos.. they cheese your hunger away! Enjoy!"
Update: Washington Post debunks campagin website as a hoax.

posted by Neha
8:07 PM

3 comments

Am I being an overly sensitive twat?

August 12, 2005


Re: secret Dubai's latest post + comments.

If I'm such a twat then why do I find this 'Utterly' hilarious! It's funny as hell.

I think it's anonymous comments that drive me insane, plus the fact that half of the non-Indian population in Dxb seems to think that anyone from the Subcontinent is a savage unless they can live up to certain Western expectations of making a large amount of money, living in poshy areas, and always eating with those fucked up forks and knives. I'm exaggerating but you get my drift. The sentiment does run high, so I will be peeved if I want to because I deserve to. I deserve tolerance, I don't assume that all Caucasians are Jesus Freaks who can speak in tongues and I DESERVE the same RESPECT. Wake up people, your Jumeirah hideaways were built by the sweat of these 'Indians', that great big amalgamated blob of browness you so easily assume to be less cultured, of lesser intelligence just because they have an accent or act embarrassingly like kids in a candy store when they see something flashy.

Sigh. Secret Dubai, this rant isn't for you. It is an old rant, born of continual exposure to bigotry at too young of an age, for every club owner who facilitates a policy of 'no white no entry', for every backwoods, lazy, ignorant, pompous ass hired as the token white guy who takes his position to mean he is of superior bearing. No, ultimately it's not their fault. Yes, it has always been an informal agenda propagated by the overlords. But I do blame them because they don't give a damn.

That got a little personal didn't it? It would shape the same for you too if you grew up Indian in an Arab state where equality is nothing but a state of mind.

posted by Neha
4:00 PM

23 comments

Bookzilla

August 11, 2005


I have devoured four books in the past two weeks. Just picked up another from Rajbo's Buddhist collection. My reads so far:

- The Egyptologist by Arthur Phillips. Written in long winded but very intriguing writing style, it is part Egyptology part mystery. At times the former becomes a nagging irritable distraction from the latter because it is foremost the mystery of 'why' that drives this novel. Wonderfully obsessive and devious characters. Good travel companion.

- Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince by You Know Who (uff, there's an entire wiki page dedicated to just that one book). Don't worry, no spoilers here. It will suffice to say that this baby was rather slow-moving but entirely readable in a day flat *cough* I have no life *cough*. Obvious prediction, the 7th Horcrux will of course in the final episode be revealed in Harry (or I'll eat my hat!).

- The Mistress of Spices by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. You KNOW this had to be read, despite all reviews, before the movie ruins any prose. Not bad not good but I really adore the main character. It would have been a better experience had that meddling Aishwarya Rai kept herself from assaulting my imagination every chance she got.

- Sister of My Heart also by Divakaruni. Dearest Tina, thank you for both Divakarunis but this one especially so. The writing is detailed in a simple manner, it makes visions of Bengal swim before your eyes. True, the arranged marriage bit has become overplayed in much literature but at least this is an honest account.

- Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart by Mark Epstein. I was not expecting to enjoy this book as much as I am. Epstein is a psychiatrist and a practicing Buddhist. He truly has come up with some genius answers for the sensations of isolation and emptiness, which seem to be very common in the West especially. Very well written and perfectly thought out. I may be partial due to my background in both psychology and Eastern religion but this is a book for anyone who is curious in seeing two very different schools of human diagnosis come together perfectly.

There are two just biding their time until I pounce, full force, into their sweet virgin bindings:

- Veronica Decides to Die by Paul Coelho. It's about this 24 yr old girl with a normal life and one day...she decides she wants to die. I can't wait. Veronica's train of thought excites me beyond measure. Will she, won't she, will she, why?! Oh nihilistic insanity, I like to relate to it because without doing so I would surely go insane, know what I mean? Plus, I loved The Alchemist, the manner of Coelho's writing is so pure. Makes me feel like I'm realizing that forever-fleeting something, yes, very activated about reading this piece.

- Use of Weapons by my Lord and Master, Iain M. Banks. It has been 13 years since that lazy summer of my 11th year when I had just moved back to the Middle East (kicking and screaming). The same summer I discovered my uncle's library and its carefully smuggled international gems, Banks being one of them. In half and hour of beginning The Bridge my mind had exploded into a zillion particles of potent thought, "Are you ALLOWED to write like this???!?!?". Punctuation all over the place, made-up words, strange phonetic spelling, fearless imagination, the whole KABOOM. Kaboom like my aforementioned exploding head.

Banks is a gift that keeps on giving, he just published his latest in 2004 and has 21 books to his name. If you're looking to pick one up then my choices for beginners would be The Wasp Factory (his incredible debut), The Bridge, and Whit. Banks sci-fi for beginners should include Feersum Endjinn and Consider Phlebas.

This brings me to the end of my list, how sad. Damn I love Iain Banks, have I said that already? Love is a weak word for it. Let's play a game, not a meme game, just a plain game, a fun game. Three books that affected you the most at an impressionable age. Not necessarily your 'best of all time' just 3 that really made an impact, either good or bad, when you were young and yearning for some edumacation. Three that left you awake at nights, that made you ponder your own consciousness, that affected your actions in small ways for years to come. I have three, all from the same library, read within weeks of each other:

1. The Bridge - yes, Iain, again.
2. We the Living - Ayn Rand. Ayn, this book was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
3. Fear of Flying - Erica Jong. Don't laugh. Jong was to me in 1992 what she was to suburban housewives in 1974. Also, frank sexual language is a wicked read when you're 11.

Any takers? Have we read any of the same books? Is this too long of a post? Do you even read? Are you sleepy? Will you shut up? Can I have a hug?

posted by Neha
9:34 PM

1 comments

WORK IT, FOOL!

August 10, 2005


What I am about to link to just made me get up on my feet and salute. SALUTE the only man who could do this to himself in all seriousness and still come out looking like a damn hero. Hell even The Hasselhoff had to retire to Germany after his debacle. Patrick Sawyze, please. Eddie Murphy? Ha, I hear he obliterates people for talking about HIS experience.

People, do as Mr. T says and Treat Your Mother Right!

Many MANY Thanks to Littlefuckingrayofsunshine.

posted by Neha
7:37 PM

1 comments

Pass the Power Bait

August 08, 2005


I'm moving to the country. That's where people do real shit like wrestling bears and shooting big guns. None of this pansy ass eating in restaurants and going to clubs filled with pretentious arseholes. NO. In the country they shoot shit, not like shooting the shit but actually shoot shit. And then they eat it. And they are healthy. While us sorry city-flickers breathe in the fumes we create and rot on the inside with our big black lungs and heart disease to match the $200K mortgage on 800 sq. ft. of 'land'. And we gleefully think thoughts like "Look at me, I have a PhD in 17th century art", right, can you wrestle motherfucking bears, guy? Didn't think so.

Mississippi Lake

I went to the country this weekend. Thought I was going to Ottawa but I ended up just short and in the country instead. Spent all Saturday at the lake above, good ol' Mississippi, it's a lake round this side of the border. A ginormous lake. A lake so big that you could just keep motoring down thinking you were going the right way and then realize you've gone the wrong way and have to turn back and you're worried that the 10 hp BEAST you're sitting in will run out of fuel thereby leaving you stranded in a lake full of super speed boats that mock you while you drench in their impressive wake.

This was my first time fishing. We used live bait, it was so alive that it died when we impaled the poor bait bodies on the vicious hooks. So deadly alive that it wiggled. I have come very far from my simple ahimsa roots, the ghosts of my great-grandfathers are cursing my undignified existence in their orange temple robes. I am a Bad Indian Girl, it is delicious. People finally got irritated and stopped baiting my hooks for me so I had to do them myself. I used worms, bigass worms. Worms with tons of guts, one even pooped all over Darth, scared for its life, poor bugger. He had a good life. I just made it a little more exciting by taking one end of his squirmy body and shoving a hook through it, then I wound it around and shoved some more, then I repeated until my hook looked like what I imagined a yummy feast would look like to a massive fish. It kinda worked, I caught one, it was but a wee sunfish. We had some minnows for bait. They were very alive in their plastic bag at first, then one by one they suffocated in their tiny water pail with plastic condomed over the opening. We let four escape but the rest just died before being of some use. I didn't hook any, the others were hooking them through their eyes and that's just plain disgusting.

Yessum, I like fishing, I really like being a vegetarian who likes to fish. I won't eat the fish but I sure likes to catch it. I like to wait for it, sitting on the water, scorching in the heat. I like to feel the little nibbles traveling up the line to my hands. I like the curve of the rod when I pull at what seems to be a fish of great weight. I especially enjoy struggling for many seconds with this really heavy weight until I feel it releasing, 'Yes!', I think, 'Sweet Baby Jesus! It must be huge!'. Then I see it emerging. Long. Green. Leafy. Looks like...like...noooooooo, looks like a big helping of Pond Slop!

Ah-yup, I sure like the country. Wouldn't mind living in a city hut to be able to afford a country cabin someday. By a lake. With neighbours that like to drink and have big mustaches, that goes for the chicks too.

Get more country style love at my freshly updated flickr set.

P.S. Speaking of Flickr - Thanks but that chunk of wisdom is far too large for my pretty little head to fathom.

posted by Neha
12:45 PM

4 comments

That's where all the maple stuff comes from, ya?

August 05, 2005


So long, beloved, I'm off this weekend to the ever-so-polite Canadian capital. I am wireless-less and laptop-less so you'll hear from me only on Monday. I wonder if Michaelle Jean, our spanking new Governer General, is in Ottawa. I hope. Just to be near the sweet goodness of her heart, to breathe her dignified exhaled breath in even miniscule amounts is good enough for me. I never thought I could feel this way about the monarchy's PR executive but what's a brain to do when the heart just won't listen. Sigh.

Rave on, you sexy people. XOXO.

posted by Neha
4:54 PM

0 comments

Mike Jones, who? Exactly.

August 04, 2005


I am wicked proud to announce that Currylingus is officially the number one Google search result for HOS ALL ON ME. Shucks, I'd like to thank God, my bitches, my new shoes, and last but not least I'd like to thank all you pimps out there (you know who you are) who kept searching for them hos. Tonight, your hos are on me, boys and girls!

Mr. Jones, please feel free to come kick my ass in TO. And by kick my ass I mean give us a show.

posted by Neha
8:29 PM

2 comments

Bobby-Jo, she's not so white, you know

Give up the fight, just prostrate yourself and cry Master for here she be, See-Ra, Princess of Power (power that comes from wooly mittens made by Nana).

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Welcome to the faintly incestuous, overly narcissistic, and wholly satisfying world of blogs. Now that you are a "Blogger" you will surely notice the following things:

1. Strangers will recognize you on the street.
2. Mothers will scratch at your windows till you bless their children.
3. Kids on the subway will ask you to sign their undergarments and/or body parts.
4. Men and women everywhere will want to sleep with you.
5. You will feel an overwhelming urge to incorporate 'blog' into everyday words (blogtastic, blogular, blogoramma, blogorreha, blogebrity, bloggledegoop, Newfoundblog & Blogrador)

Such is the price, sweet Seera, such is the price...You do it like a natural, there was a bunch of really funny stuff on there last night but it's gone now...puts it back, wha!

Go say hi y'all, learn some noofinese while you're at it.

posted by Neha
12:17 PM

8 comments

Ha, Stefani, you lose!

August 03, 2005


Harajuku was so yesterday. The latest craze sweeping a small cult-like cluster of Japanese girls is Decorer, "process of cheerful decoration fashion trend".
This fasion style called "Decorer ” (mean of decorator. In Japan , it is very popular English usage to attach the suffix, “ er ” to any words to mean the person who do something.. for example, the person who wear “ shanel called “ shaneler ” ). At first, their way of decoration is very slight, subtlety and casually. But now their decoration technique go to extreme. Yes, they are really decorer!
I love the logical manner in which the term is formed, it's so unassuming and sweet in trusting the English language to stick to its own rules. Have a read through, the author is fabulous. More power to you Masa-san. Screw proper grammar and Euro-Romeo accents, Jenglish is much hotter.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

The Decorer! They are the real deal. Not like those harajuku folk with their anime-aspirations, wacky clothes, and surreal jewellery...umm, wait a minute. No, no, this is different. See how happy they are? I admit, the differences are subtle to my untrained eye but the Decorer ARE the new black. I never thought rockabilly and candy raver could get along so well.

posted by Neha
2:56 PM

3 comments

Beverly, ohhhh Beverly, mmmm


Always in control, you are a great leader, deligator, and diplomat. These qualities attract people to you, and this sometimes annoys you. Aloof, introspective, and philosophical; you enjoy quiet time in solitude.

Take the Star Trek Quiz

Thanks to Lynn!

posted by Neha
10:55 AM

6 comments

You're Number One

August 02, 2005


Congratulations Nidhi, Sade is correct, w00t!!!!!! Also, I want to tell you something, I'm not good with this direct emoting business so I've written a poem about it instead. From me, to you:

Oh Nidhi, you stole the show...completely.
Yeah Nidhi, you are a treasure...literally.
The Vedas, they say there are nava-nidhi.
But only one can awaken my kundalini.
Mother of Vedas, receptacle of wisdom.
Boy, do I ever want to enter your kingdom.
Everyday I practice my hopeful chants,
One day I really want to get in your pants!

Honorable mention for completing the answer goes to Guy from the other end of Canada. Rep-ree-jant! Unless you don't know much about North Indian accents, then it's just 'represent'.

To all the losers, there shall be another quiz next week (courtesy Todum). Quit losing around and give it your best shot, who knows, you too could win a fabulous prize (not a poem everytime, I swear!). Now pardon me while I remove the track, websites with sound are mostly annoying.

posted by Neha
12:41 PM

3 comments