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In which I walk around with a hand over my crotch (Updated!)

December 15, 2006


Neha says:
want to hear something horrible?

Youngflizz says:
shoot

Neha says:
two hours ago, i unzippered the fly on my 4 yr old jeans and now it won't come back up, i've tried everything

Neha says:
and i'm at work

Youngflizz says:
bahahaha

Youngflizz says:
bahahaha

Youngflizz says:
yeah

Neha says:
hiding behind desks and binders like a 12 yr old boy with a hard on

Youngflizz says:
that does suck

Youngflizz says:
hahahaha

Youngflizz says:
safety pins are your answer

Youngflizz says:
that or your jacket or a sweater tied around your waste, just so

Neha says:
i'm not wearing a sweater. i tried my wool jacket and just looked like a dumbass

Youngflizz says:
you'll note that, exercising gentlemanly discretion and sensitivity, i did not ask why your zipper was down.

Neha says:
in fact, your discretion is so gentlemanly that you've just indirectly asked me that very question

Youngflizz says:
bahahaha

Youngflizz says:
not asking

Youngflizz says:
i'm sure

Youngflizz says:
it was something innocent

Youngflizz says:
the using of the bathroom

Youngflizz says:
for example

Youngflizz says:
and that is fine

Youngflizz says:
NOT ASKING NOT ASKING

Neha says:
what can i say, i volunteered for fem testing an alien prototype

Neha says:
ahahaha

Youngflizz says:
hahahaha

Neha says:
yes, the bathroom, and then i spent like 20 min in the stall with my pants off trying to make shit work

Neha says:
and my colleague was like "umm, neha, what're you doing?" and there were exasperated grunts escaping my mouth and it was all just really awful

Youngflizz says:
hahahaha

Youngflizz says:
that does suck

Youngflizz says:
safety pins?

Neha says:
got none, i've asked around

Youngflizz says:
yo, that sucks

Youngflizz says:
BIG TIME

Neha says:
if i stand completely straight it's ok

Youngflizz says:
just don't move

+++

Who's a classy broad now? Can't wait for the metro ride home. Stupid short jacket. Note to self: Wear more skirts.

+++

Pum-paa-paaaa...there was a tooth, it had bent upwards. A snaggletooth, if you will. So I held it between a pair of large scissors and poked at it with a thumbtack till it came out. Now, easy up and down no problem. Snaggle Attack™, coming soon to an infomercial near you!

fly

Labels:

posted by Neha
1:41 PM

10 Comments:

Blogger PG said...

Yeah ok. Go find some pliers and pull the zipper taut, then pull. Works all the time.

of course, by the time you read this, you'll be at home changed out so this is moot.

12/15/2006 03:28:00 PM  
Blogger Neha said...

o hey, i'm still at work, still tugging on my shirt in a downward motion. and i can't find pliers either. i took a closer look at the situation with a magnifying glass, i think there is one tooth/notch wotever that went crooked somehow. and it won't let anything pass. i need micro pliers.

12/15/2006 03:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Ennis said...

If you're still there, you could try something else, depending on how tight the pants are.

You might be able to close the zipper without yourself in the pants, and then pull them back on. Or at least, pull them back on with the zipper mostly closed.

You could also try to tape them shut from the inside (again, in the bathroom).

If you were wearing a long shirt, you could at least tuck that inside, but my guess is (fashion being what it is) that your top barely graces the bottom of your belt loops.

Hopefully you didn't chose today to go "commando"

12/15/2006 04:38:00 PM  
Blogger Neha said...

Ok, I'm just about to leave. Ennis, thank you, alas... I took 'em off and tried to move the zip. It's stuck at the very bottom and it won't budge even a little. I thought I was so styling today with a collared shirt tucked into my denim. Fool, I am.

But my jacket hangs about mid-fly level so if I just move my cross-shoulder bag to lie directly in front of said region when walking or sitting or standing at an angle, then I should be home with little embarassment.

I'm really glad I wore chuddies too!

12/15/2006 05:14:00 PM  
Blogger youngflizzy said...

I laughed - and continue to do so, as i believe (as Dog the Bounty Hunter does) - that some people do not want to be helped.

As such, they're really beyond help until they've embraced the fact that they have a problem.

You see, Neha's problem isn't the zipper, per se.

I shan't say what it actually is, because well, that's really up to her.

12/15/2006 05:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Ennis said...

You think this is a Dilbert thing, like his tie?

12/15/2006 05:38:00 PM  
Blogger Neha said...

Shame and the inability to keep my zipper up. These are the problems I have to live with. They battle within me.

12/15/2006 07:40:00 PM  
Anonymous raj said...

you crazy funny funny funny girl you ...
( hangs head and blushes )

:)

12/28/2006 08:12:00 AM  
Anonymous metric said...

Oh shit. I feel for you, lady. Shit like this always seems to ONLY happen to me... but, then again, I live in nerdville.

1/13/2007 06:09:00 PM  
Blogger ZenDenizen said...

Love those "fly on a wall" posts. This reminded me of a time a co-worker in your predicament unknowingly walked into a conference room and talked to us for 20 minutes. When she left, all the guys told me it was my job to inform her but I never had the heart to, lol.

3/16/2007 01:44:00 PM  

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