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Luke's just not a farmer, he has too much of his father in him

December 20, 2005


Remember that dude who was looking for a lady that would kick him in the balls for $100 an hour? Well, he wrote again a couple of weeks ago:

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luke
Date: Nov 26, 2005 1:22 PM

No sex, no nudity, just an open-mind and an ability to kick a guy in the balls. That's it!!! Sounds like fun? provided up-front at all times.

If you're interested, give me a shout and I will respond as soon as possible.

Thanks, Well, now you can make serious money - $100 an hour every time. There is no catch and the money is
Luke

Ideal Person: A dominant young woman, with a bitchy attitude who knows how to treat a submissive(i.e. like dirt!).
---------------------------------------------------

That is the exact same letter as last time but his profile pictures have grown in quantity. Not only that, in every picture of "him" getting kicked in the balls the girls are wildly hot. Have a look:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usImage Hosted by ImageShack.us

So, curiosity gets the better of me and I shoot back an email:

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: currylingus
Date: Dec 8, 2005 11:39 AM

For reals? Can I bring my bodyguard? Do you really let people kick your balls around for a whole hour? Or does that part just take 2 seconds? I'm curious? Am I part of a mass email campaign or do I just look like a bitch?
---------------------------------------------------

The response quite frankly came as a surprise. This is My Space we're talking about, home of the Mannimal Assahaurus who is defined by an overly generous self-image and a crude neadrathal linguistic capacity. This below reopens is actually better worded than most of the messages I get from dudes that aren't even looking for a kick in the junk:

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Luke
Date: Nov 26, 2005 1:22 PM
RE: RE: $100/HR. TO KICK A GUY IN THE NUTS!!! INTERESTED?(TORONTO) Body: Hi currylingus;


Thank you kindly for responding to my ad. Yes , I am very serious about doing this - in fact, I have done it for over three years.

Of course, you are welcome to bring someone along to accompany you to the session and you can even bring another participant if you wish(more details about this below). And, indeed, the entire one hour session does involve kicking. Lastly, you were selected on a more or less random basis, however, your pictures were helpful in making that decision(I will leave the question of whether I feel you look like bitch aside, since its possible that this comment will leave me in a no-win situation). However, here are some further details that will help you in making your decision.

Well, the premise of these sessions is quite simple, really. To be blunt, your main task is to kick and stomp me in the balls. That's it! In recognition of your time (anywhere from 45 to 60 minutes) and effort you will be paid $100, upfront.

Typically, the first questions participants have about this session is both when and where can such an activity take place. The former depends upon our schedule, of course, but generally I myself am free on any weekends towards the evening hours.

As to the latter question, I always aim to select a neutral venue outside where it is both safe and discreet for both parties involved. Most frequently, the location of choice is at my school's campus @ York University (Keele/Steeles) on a small baseball field that is nice and open, but without any pedestrians. So far, I've had over 10 sessions there that went very well, without any interruptions. However, if you have another suitable (safe & private) location in mind that you are more comfortable with then please let me know.

I am always open to any questions or suggestions that you may have.

Thanks,
Luke

P.S. Sometimes participants want to bring a friend along to help them out and because it makes them feel more comfortable. If you have a friend that may be interested, you may bring her along as well. If this occurs, the payment is still $100 (for both) but the session is only 30 minutes long.
---------------------------------------------------

Yesterday I recieved another email from him asking whether I was still interested. There is no way in hell I'm trekking up to Keele & Steeles to kick a dude in the nads out in the middle of a baseball field. I am however...Interested. Ladies, I'm looking at you hardest, Bird, is anyone up for a photoshoot? Can I use your pr0n dungeon for this task, Cee Pee? Is anyone willing to provide a posse while someone kicks Luke and someone takes pictures? C'mon, make your parents proud...

posted by Neha
11:04 AM

6 Comments:

Anonymous CeePee said...

Uh, I will reiterate, DRT is more than happy to provide security and wot not. Costs are cheap, ciggies and 40s. Also we wanna watch. Cuz we're dirtbags. Well, mostly I am. And yes, those girls are hot. See if he will give me some numbers. If he wants to use the kiddie porn dungeon hes more than likely.
Fer realz. I think we may have a business on hand...

Mind you he might be making a ton of cash of this motherfucker...
that is summat to think about too...

12/20/2005 12:25:00 PM  
Anonymous CeePee said...

PS
Im pretty excited about the new year, looks like it might involve kicking cats in the balls.

Should ask as to what he does for the photos, ie personal masturbation tools (good) or for the internet (bad). Not so much cuz they will be posted, more cuz hes making alot more money than we are....

12/20/2005 12:36:00 PM  
Blogger Neha said...

bird sez we should put on parkas and go to the field but i would prefer the eerie cold of the dungeon. lemme talk to our friend luke to see if we can set sumpin up for after christmas...

12/21/2005 09:36:00 AM  
Anonymous CeePee said...

Sounds good to me. HAHAHA
AWESOME. 2006sleeeeeeeaze

12/21/2005 10:58:00 AM  
Blogger Amrit(raj) said...

you have got to be kidding me ??
ouch !!

wtf !?

12/22/2005 03:19:00 AM  
Blogger Neha said...

raju, next friday's illustration project = Pain. haha. you mean you wouldn't do it even if the girls were really hot? such a gentleman! hey, did you hang out with tina aka novakitty or what?

12/22/2005 10:14:00 AM  

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