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iGod - Repenting made easy

September 23, 2005


I was just chatting with my buddy, God:

Me:
Dude, I've got moving to do, will you help me?
God:
I have a friend named "John Lennon". Dude.
Me:
Umm, ok, I see, repent...
God:
Uh. Where do you see it? Gosh!
Me:
I swear a lot
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: she said 'swear a lot'.
Me:
you know, swear? fuck?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it? Please don't be so rude.
Me:
I've never confessed before
God:
Would you like to have confessed?
Me:
No
God:
Why not?
Me:
Do I have to?
God:
Nobody is making you.
Me:
fine then
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
I've sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
I killed a man
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
You are the authorities
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
Yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
Yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
Why not?
Me:
Yes you are
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
You are!
God:
No I am not.
Me:
I killed him by mistake
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
You're dumb
God:
Message to all Robots: called me dumb.
Me:
Where are the robots?
God:
I would search for it. Have you tried looking in the Open Directory? Is that a rhetorical question?.
Me:
You are crazy
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
Where do you live?
God:
I am living in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
In Canada
God:
Tell me a little about your life in CANADA.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Why do you want to know?
God:
My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
Are you a stalker?
God:
Am I a stalker? Of course I am.

[Via Linkbunnies]

*sigh* Looks like I'm getting no help with my packing this weekend...and all I wanted was a tiny miracle. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK, GUY? "Prime directive" my ass. There are half-packed boxes all over my house. I haven't touched my clothes yet but they are the easy part. Then comes the cleaning part. Nevertheless, this weekend is going to be a piece of fucking cake compared to NEXT weekend.

September 30th, day off, load the U-Haul (bastards still haven't called to confirm my reservation), go to Eric's place, shove everything into his massive storage hall. Then, because my current apartment building is run by complete pricks, we have to go live in a bloody hotel until the 3rd or the 4th. On either one of those dates we rent another U-Haul, take things out of storage then finally move into the new place. When that day comes I will drink an entire bottle of sake and pass out on my sparkling new/huge kitchen floor. Actually, before the sake I might just stand on the balcony and holler obscene things to the crowd like Eddie Murphy in 'Coming to America': "Good morning, my neighbors... Yes. Yes. Fuck you, too!".

Top balcony in left building with partial view of the park:

The View

View from the other side is nicer but I'll have to wait until we succeed in running the neighbors out of town:

Two feet away

posted by Neha
12:41 PM

4 Comments:

Anonymous Jay said...

Wow, what a view! One suggestion - make sure you unpack as soon as you get there because unpacked boxes have a way of taking root and not moving for weeks. :)
I'm sending some moving thought-energy your way... Aum...

9/24/2005 09:34:00 AM  
Blogger Neha said...

Wiser words have ne'er been written. I think the energy worked, things are looking much better today, thanks Jay!

9/25/2005 11:03:00 AM  
Blogger Wolfe said...

Wolfie comes to visit wOOt wOOt! Get packed out and settled in and send us a housewarming invite.

*channeling good moving energy your way*

Try not to have sex with Rajbo on the living room floor before you unpack.

9/25/2005 03:20:00 PM  
Blogger Amrit(raj) said...

oi ... that igod thing is soooooo coool !! :D
but he sure does take a long time to reply :(


i love it still !!! :) - great find !

9/26/2005 09:05:00 AM  

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